Mediocrity

            It’s 2am. My home is silent except with the occasional loud noises of cars and cicadas. I went down from my room and took a can of coffee and a small box of peach strudel from the fridge. I saw my dad sleeping on the couch while a crime documentary was playing on the tv. My cat narrowly opened his eyes at the sound of my footsteps.

There was a tugging of some sorts that wanted me to be at a higher place. I exited my unit and pressed the elevator button. While waiting, I cracked open my coffee and took a sip to keep awake after a whole day of playing video games and scrolling through social media. The elevator arrived on my floor and I went to the rooftop. 

The shining city of Kuala Lumpur was truly a breathtaking view. I put down my box of dessert on a table. I slightly leaned on the railing and braved against my fear of heights to simply stare at the city while I drank my coffee.

For me, the view of the city always warms my soul and eases my heart like the sun could never do during the day. It kept me from drowning in my worries of the future. It kept me in the present instead of dwelling in my dark past.

I went back to my table and ate the peach strudel. The cream filled my mouth with the taste of peaches and crunch of the pastry. All of these form together to make a wonderful and refreshing taste during the night.

I drank coffee to wash it all down. Pair the night city view with dessert and coffee, you get a moment of tranquility. I thought to myself, “What am I going to do in the future?”. My dream job was always to be an artist that drew landscapes. But lately, no matter how much I try to draw, I just can’t get better. The art always ends up mediocre at best and I am always unsatisfied with the flaws of the drawing.

I finished the last of the coffee and rubbed my lips with my shirt’s sleeve. “Screw it, if my art is mediocre at best, then I will be a mediocre artist.” I stood up with grim determination and went back into my room.

After months of spending hours drawing everyday, I’m finally satisfied with myself. After laughing hysterically for about a minute, I maxed the volume of my speakers and took a cold shower while dancing like a maniac. I dried myself and put makeup on my face. “I finally did it!” I slammed my face on my study table to depict a face made from thick powder with a big red nose as the clown theme bleed my ears. “I gave up.”